SNOW DAY!!!!!!!!!

Sorry for my absence over the past few days folks. Somehow I caught the cold/flu/cough thing that is going around NYC. And since in order to write you have to be able to breathe, well, the writing had to wait until I COULD breathe. But I'm feeling much better and sounding less and less like the teenager kid on The Simpsons so let's procede shall we?

The big snow hit yesterday - we got about a foot here in Queens. I haven't set foot outside since Friday, and at this point I don't anticipate going out again until, let's say, May.

Being from Colorado, snow storms have never bothered me. It's snow. It's beautiful for about 3 hours (or 3 minutes in the city) and then the sun comes out and it melts. It always cracks me up how reporters on TV will broadcast hour upon hour of "STORM OF THE CENTURY" news updates. Like the 12 inches of snow we got is the sign of some cataclysmic event that will dash out humanity. Please. Get a freakn' shovel and stop complaining.

Whenever it snows, it occurs to me that it forces people to join one of three groups:

The Fighters: These people will be out in blizzard-like conditions, trying to shovel as it snows. Even when it's snowing faster than they can shovel. I suppose it's helpful because then they don't have as much to shovel at the end of the storm, but MAN I feel sorry for ya poor bastards as I watch you from my apartment, sipping hot chocolate.

The Waiters: These people wait out the storm, but are out the very next morning at 7AM (why?? the snow isn't going anywhere!? And does it have to be a snow blower??) to completely clear off their property. Good for you ya poor bastards I think, as I watch from my apartment, sipping tea.

The Jerks: Okay, these are the people who pretend it didn't snow and let Mother Nature clear the sidewalks for them. You know who you are. I see you watching me as you sip your tea as I struggle in the knee high dirty snow that has been plowed onto your sidewalk.

I'm probably not being reasonable: I work from home, I don't have a car. Actually I COULD stay in my apartment until May and not have a problem. I realize there are real people out there with jobs and kids and driveways and 12 inches of snow really IS a problem. To that I reply: Pay me $50 bucks and I'll shovel your driveway.

Stay warm!! And don't forget to shovel!