Hi Brad. It's me again. The girl who saw Oceans 11 AND 12. What? A lot of people saw those movies? Come on Brad, I saw the box office results. Don't kid yourself. No my dear, possibly heart broken actor, I am here to offer my services as your official rebound girl.
It makes sense right? Jennifer Anniston: great comedic actress...Gayle Crispin: also a great comedic actress (okay, well, "great" in that I have seen every episode of Friends Seasons 4-8.) Jennifer Anniston: beautiful, set major hair trend during the 90's. Gayle Crispin: fell sway to the hair trend mentioned above, and spent 5 years trying to grow out miserable attempt at "The Rachel".
Now that I think about it, I have absolutely nothing in common with Jennifer Anniston, which is quite a compelling reason as to why you SHOULD date me as your rebound girl. I'm not crazy, I know there's no way I'm going to catch the attention of an A list actor for longer than a couple months (you B list actors though, LOOK OUT!!) But I'm the ideal candidate for the role: The media has absolutely no idea who I am...I'm smart and funny...and none of my relationships have lasted longer than a few months anyway, so you really have nothing to worry about Brad!!
Other good reasons? I'm the perfect normal person: I like to bake cookies, do crossword puzzles, and go running in the park. You wont have to worry about "Pitt Dating President of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan club president" headines. (Because I'm only treasurer of the club.)
Listen, I am the first to understand how difficult the dating scene is out there. And coming off a divorce with your gorgeous celebrity wife must be daunting. I just want you to know I'm here for you Brad. That when you're ready to jump into the dating pool, I'll be the girl at the shallow end, treading water. In the mean time, could you give my number to George Clooney? He must have lost it.
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