Gayle Crispin - Matchmaker??

I think you people are confused.

In the past 3 days I have been asked by 3 different friends for help in hooking up. I'm not opposed to aiding and abetting when it comes to matters of the heart and I am the first person to help a friend in need. But isn't asking me for dating tips and hook up help akin to the blind leading the blind? Am I REALLY the person you want as your wingman?

Look at my track record: 3 legitmate broken hearts, 4 (yes, you read that corrrectly) guys who turned out to be gay, and the only 2 people who have ever hit on me at bars have been lesbians. This is fantastic!! And by fantastic I mean "totally crappy". And now 3 of my male friends have basically said "We would never actually date you ourselves, but we totally want to date your friends." You know what? Bite me.

Okay, I know I'm coming across very bitter here and I don't mean to do that. I'm smart, and have a way better rack than any of these chicks my friends want to get with. I fully believe there's a reason that some people remain friends and never cross that line, and am totally cool with it. (And in several situations completely relieved that "friends" is all we will ever be.)

My basic problem is that I don't understand why you need to involve third parties in meeting people in the first place. If I like a guy, I'll just tell him. Sure, it will take me 10 months and 3-4 strong drinks to finally get up the courage, but I will eventually. All this "can you get her phone number for me" or "ask him what he thought of me" or "can you book us a hotel room" is just annoying. And what's the etiquette for when things don't work out - is it my fault? Or yours for asking for anal on the first date? This is not a position I want to be in. Well...

But nevertheless my friends have asked me for help - and since I'm apparently not the slutty hook up kind, then the least I can do is be the helpful set up up kind.

So if you want a date, call now - operators are standing by.