Fun with Dell Customer Service

Hi Everybody!! Welcome to another fun addition of Customer Service Theater!!

Today I was having trouble with my Dell PocketDJ (the poor man's answer to the IPod.) Mine had frozen and couldn't be turned off. Not that big of a deal at first, but hearing 50 Cent's Candy Shop looped for 7 hours was getting a bit frustrating. So I got on the instant messenger chat service that Dell offers their customers to solve the problem.

Gary: Hi! Thank you for using the Dell Customer Service Chat system. How can I help you.

Me: Well hi Gary! I'm having trouble with my Dell Pocket DJ. When I turned it on this morning it wouldn't play. When I tried to turn it off, it wouldn't and now 7 hours later I still can't turn it off, play, or scroll through any of the menus.

Gary: So to clarify, the unit is frozen?

Me: Uh. Yes. That's what I just said.

Gary: Take a paperclip and press the recent button on the bottom of the unit. It's a very tiny hole.

Me: Well that's not really a button then is it?

Gary: Just push a paper clip into the hole.

Me: Okay. Darn. All I have are the big jumbo size paper clips. Would a needle work? Not like a drug needle, more like a sewing needle. Do you sew Gary?

Gary: I'll wait.

Me: Success, there's a needle! Okay, now all I have to do is AGGGHH MY FINGER!! I STABBED MY FINGER!! THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!

Gary: Please let me know when you have been able to reset your unit.

Me: What are you some sort of robot??? I'm dieing over here!! Okay, okay...I got it. Found a bandaid, and a paper clip. Okay. That did it.

Gary: I'll wait.

Me: Are you sure we haven't dated Gary? You sound familiar.

Gary: Is there anyway I can provide further service?

Me: Yeah, actually there is . I just knocked my Dell printer into a pot of boiling water and smashed it with my brother's baseball bat. Now it won't print. What's up with that?

Gary: Dell thanks you for your patronage and asks that you complete the following survey.

Me: My patronage!? You aren't listening to word I have said!!!

Gary: Thank you for using Dell. Good bye.

Me: What?? No! No! Gary! Don't leave me like this!! GAARRRYYY!!!!


And so concludes Customer Service Theater. Tune in next time when I get help with my Visa Mastercard.