Yesterday afternoon I went to see The Pillowman, the Broadway play that won a bunch of Tony's this year. It was amazing, although very dark and disturbing. Jeff Goldblum and Billy Cudrup are in it and are spectacular. Thank god the play was good, because my experience before hand absolutely ridiculous.
I was sitting in Row F...in a seat closest to the wall. Unfortunately this meant that I had crawl over 4 people to get to my set. This shouldn't be a problem...but when I got to my row, these 3 old women were sitting there and REFUSED TO MOVE. One of them said in all seriousness: You should have come earlier.
WHAT!!!???
And one more time for those of you in the balcony...
WHAT!!???
Mutha fu...I swear to God the only thing that kept me from an assault charge and this lady from the ICU was my respect for my elders. I was 15 minutes early...the show was not starting, nor was I asking them to do something exceptionally out of the ordinary. $*#$#+!! move your feet or GASP stand up for A SECOND so i can get to my $(*#$#@! seat that I paid 90 bucks to sit in you stuck up -
Okay Crispin, take it easy. Maybe this woman had led a hard life and this play was her final days of happiness. But you know what, nothing excuses RUDENESS. And as much as I wanted to just match her bitchiness I smiled sweetly (oh and you KNOW that tone I get when I'm pretending to be sweet and respectful but I"m actually saying "Kiss my ass.") I paused, looked down at her and said "Oh, how strange. I was told my seat would have an obstructed view of the stage, not an obstructed view of someone being rude."
GASP
Oohhhhh no you didn't!!!
Yes I did, and to all the elderly out there I'm really a nice person...I love my grandmothers and value everything the mature people in this world have to teach us...but THIS WAS NOT MATURE. Granted, neither was my response, but this was just so beyond rude and UNNESSARY I had to say something. I followed up that with "I hope I haven't inconvenienced you too much, and enjoy the show and have a really nice day." God, you can imagine right? How sarcastic I could deliver that line. It was a thing of beauty.
I'm sure karma will come back to haunt me on that one - or by the look of them, these old women will come back to haunt me - but just because you're old doesn't give you any rights to be a jerk.
Sidebar...saw the new Batman movie last night - HOLY HOTNESS BATMAN. This is a movie you NEED to see...Christian Bale (hummana hummana), Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Liam Neeson. And a kick ass musical score.
And no rude old biddies to ruin the experience :)
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5 comments:
Ah, a woman after my own sarcastic heart. Passive-aggressive without too much passivity. You go!
I just hope the 4th person had a good sense of humor!
Would you believe the fourth person was from Denver! Ended up having a lovely conversation!! I don't think he was associated with the Rude Ladies.
Crazy small world! Just have to ignore all the rude people in it. :)
did you throw popcorn at her?
or some loose change?
LOL
Yeah, I've been in that situation before too. The worst part is not being able to kick their ass 'cuz they're little helpless old grandmas.
But before I moved on to the next free seat, I asked them (quite nicely) to pick their tits off the floor so I wouldn't step on them. lol. They actually got so pissed, they left! I enjoyed the rest of the movie with an extra seat free, where I put my large bag of popcorn. :)
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