Running in place

I am one of those annoying people in at the shoe store when it comes to running shoes. Heels are a different story - I put them on, and if they don't immediately feel great, back in the box they go. But this is my running shoe story, so I digress.

Just last week I was in my local sports store trying on the shoes in their sale section. Because really, why pay retail? I had about 3 different boxes open all around me - it was quiet and I was the only customer. (At least, that's what I thought.) Anyway it wasn't a big problem for me to try on one pair, walk around, try on an other pair, run around (yes, run) then go back for the third pair and see which pair felt better. I jump, run, kick - I don't know what the kicking does but it scares the shit out of other shoppers and generally guarantees that people will leave me alone. Plus I get what the shoes are going to feel like. I don't want to be figuring this out at mile 10, so I don't mind looking like an idiot in a store.

So imagine me, minding my business while I ran and jumped (it would be really great if I'd been singing the Olympic theme) when some guy comes over and asks me which tennis racket I would recommend and what shoes made sense to buy for someone who was cross training. At first I'm thinking I'm beting hit on and I'm thinking "sweet! I'm gonna get picked up at a sporting goods store!" Then he asked me if we sold racket balls. We. Oh. Oh okay. Not only was this guy not hitting on me, and really, how could you not want to get with this, but he thinks I am an employee!

So I seized my opportunity and did what you all expect that I would do. I got very serious and said "oh, man. Wait. Wait. I know this. Racket balls. Racket balls. Shit, um. No. No. God! Come on Crispin! Wait wait. Damn. I should know this! Please don't tell my manager! They're round...you hit em....god where ARE those???"

And the guy was like "um, no...it's okay..I can.." and I kept beating myself up that I didn't know and then suddenly said "Oh, oh that's right. I don't work here." The resulting look on the guy's face and then his laughter was totally worth it.

Ladies and gentlemen, I get very few opportunities in this world to legitimately fuck with people. I can't dupe the people at work because a) they read this blog and b) it's easier to mess with people you don't know. So I was pretty proud that not only was I being mistaken for a sports chick, but that I also kept my head together in order to mess with the dude too lazy to look for a nametag.

I did learn a valuable lesson however. I'm gonna start thinking real hard where I wear a whistle and referee outfit.