Hello old friend, hello

Yesterday I had the unique opportunity to have coffee with Kim, an old college friend who moved to Moscow a few years ago. She was in NY because there had been flight delays and she'd missed her connection to Moscow from Boston. So we got together in between my meetings at work and caught up.

It was so great to see her and to feel like even though years had passed, we could still pick up where we'd left off almost 4 years ago. It was totally cool to catch up with her, but hard to compare that friendship with other friendships I've had and lost over the years.

It is so difficult to stay in touch with people overall. You really have to work at it. Emails, a quick phone call, a real letter maybe, visits when you can. And with some friends I can go months, years, without hearing a word, then out of blue - like Kim - we reconnect and it's like old times. Then there are friends who you thought you would never lose contact with, and then one day you get a text message that they've gotten married. And you didn't even know they were dating anyone that seriously. Or that your phone accepted text messages.

It makes me sad to think about my friendships that have changed so much that they will never be the same. Or that I'm the only one who seems sad about it all. That despite my best efforts I will never be as good of a friend for them as I thought they were for me. But then I reconnect with old friends like Kim and I realize that's the way of the world. There are going to be people who are truly only meant for a particular part of your life and then they move on.

If you're lucky, you have friends who are meant to be part of your life forever. And realizing this will help you focus your time and energy on them. Not on the ones who you've lost.